Ho.ly. Cow.

Before we went on our honeymoon, I alluded to some type of impending major life change, but was totally vague about it. Please forgive me.

Right now, the hubs is in Dallas, having meetings with the final person who will sign off on his company moving us to New York City. This has my South Texas family and the friends we’ve had for decades in Houston all like:

And has had me feeling all of the emotions, a little like this:

There are things that I expected for this year that would no longer happen with the move (the yoga teacher training that I had been babysitting twice a week to earn), I’ll have to get rid of nearly all of the things that we’ve accrued over the last 3+ years of owning our first home together, it’ll get really COLD in the winter, the city is dirty, we’ll live somewhere tiny, I’ll no longer drive my tiny car, and life as I know it will completely change.

But, that’s what’s exciting about it. It’s a city full of people, excitement and opportunity. I’ve spent countless hours scouring places that would be an option to move into, if we were moving now, and the school Tobias could go to. My whole life has flipped upside down. I’ve gone through deep sadness and regret for not appreciating our home more, to anger at a friend for not being there when I need her (again), to frustration because of what I’m giving up, to an unbelievable excitement over the possibilities that await.

At the beginning, I told very few people about the possible move, because I didn’t want anyone to get upset over it just to find that it wasn’t going to happen after all. Then, I couldn’t handle it anymore, and it seemed more likely. I was scared that things were going to go through with Mark’s job, only to find that my ex-husband would use our custody agreement to keep me here with our son, while Mark left. That was scary.

But all throughout the company, he’s gotten the okay. And, when I broke it to my ex-husband and his mother, they both were surprisingly accepting and congratulatory, regardless of their sadness over the distance that would be between them and Tobias. They want what is best for him.

Despite my initial reluctance, I am SO hopeful we’ll hear good news today. It’s scary, yes. But Mark and I, separately, through our first marriages, have done this before: left behind all that we knew, kept only the necessary, and started all over. Just look how far that got us–and more importantly, we’ll be together as a family.