2017 is OVER.
I don’t want to dwell too much in last year’s news, but what stands out to me most about 2017 is that for me, it felt like a year of hiding. I spoke of my anxiety, and though it hasn’t been debilitating to the point of not wanting to run my errands, it still flares up and made me stop wanting to play the numbers game of trying to meet and connect with people in this town. It’s hard to get to get past the surface level in a newer friendship, and I learned not to rush it. But along the way I seem to have learned to shut myself away from others to stop feeling so rejected. I paid attention to my family and my hobbies and even isolated myself from my lifelong friends in Texas, thinking that they didn’t care anymore.
I was wrong. I know I need to be the friend I want to have.
2018 has begun.
My number one resolution is to stop closing myself off to other people. To stop living in fear of rejection and begin to reach out again and more to people in my area, to lifelong friends.
I shut off social posting last year from Christmas to Easter, and looking back now I see how I blogged a significant amount more than I thought I did. Social posting does nothing for me but temporarily boost my ego, whereas blogging is a way for me to organize my thoughts on one day and help people plan a vacation or DIY something pretty darn cool on other days.
I ran into a couple of quotes not too long ago that really resonated with me. One being:
“The key to happiness is finding your gift and sharing it with others.” – Mark Maples
and the other was:
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward
This resonated deeply with me because I do a really good job at cultivating gratitude for all of the joys and privileges that I have in my thoughts, yet I don’t as often take the time to send a thank you card.
Get back to my systems and routines.
I make “resolutions” or something like it twice a year. New Year’s and my birthday, which conveniently falls six months after. On my birthday, my main focus was productivity routines and “getting my shit together.” Over the months following, I rocked at this. I got some great systems in place, had a daily routine, and my house was staying in order. However, in November, my health took a turn and I stopped following through with things. I’m still getting through the health issues, but piece by piece I’d like to return to those routines that gave me more calm in my day-to-day life.
I spend a lot of time on the internet. It’s been like that as far as I can remember. I need the internet to do my freelance work, and there are times when I need it as a resource to achieve my goals and finish projects I have begun. I can also connect with like-minded individuals, which is cool.
But, unfortunately, this isn’t what I’m using the internet for the majority of the time. Social media is a big part of the problem, but it’s not just that. It’s Reddit, politics, “news” stories I never need to read, my guilty Teen Mom obsession, etc. There are so many better ways to spend my time.
To make it a (brief) list:
- Share myself and my gratitude more often through writing, Facetime, and in-person meeting.
- Get back to routines.
- Focus my internet use as a tool to aid my writing, art, and home projects.
There are so many exciting things to look forward to in 2018! I’m going to stop keeping my joy and gratitude to myself, thanks for staying along for the ride.
And, heck, I might even go back and share some stuff from when I was hiding in 2017. But first, I’ve got some paid work to get done!