I went digging through old journals to uncover what the intention was for this year and I came across something dorky that’s better left private (but champagne is now involved, so no holds barred): “2020 was the year of mental health, 2021 will be the year of the glow up.” 🤓
Twenty-nine years ago on this date, I was diagnosed with cancer. I was so little. There’s no way I could pronounce Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, nevertheless understand what was happening in my body.
Childhood cancer is unique in that it doesn’t disrupt the patient’s life like it would an adult’s. The foundation of life isn’t yet there for disruption: a young child experiences the first hospital stay, the first round of chemo, the first spinal tap in the same way that children experience their first day of kindergarten, their first time riding a bike, and their first time tying their shoes.
I am a storyteller, through and through A childhood defined by Long afternoons spent around a kitchen table Listening Learning
A bellowing laugh Between sips of sweet tea Faded fast-food mugs In topographical hands Mountains, valleys, creases a story of their own. Age and wisdom To have both A story in itself
Receiving My own stories Before I could Decode Lines and curves Connected on a page Before I could connect A written story to my own
Once upon a time A parental loss A sick child Left to fend, to fight battles Illness and Ill will A tale of defiance and defeat
A tale of force Into my story Into my body An ink spill Permeating the pages A did cannot be undone
A mystery of madness, mania A page turner, the answer Escaping on the breeze of your exhale
An epoch of war disguised as romance An era of fear disguised as family An age of harm disguised as home
The reveal The rise The run for your life The strengthening The escape
The heartache of another More painful than my own History repeats itself Every fairy tale Begins with tragedy
The hero’s journey Metamorphosed Metaphorical mountains to climb Led to literal Landscapes of grandeur
The epilogue is written spoken painted in technicolor shades of a post-storm sunrise Illuminating a new day
Last week, my little guy and I took a day trip to the city to check out Yayoi Kusama’s exhibits at the New York Botanical Gardens. This weekend is the last weekend it’s on display, so I wanted to give a sneak peek of what to expect if you head over that way.
On Friday I hopped on the train with my teen and headed into the city with him for the first time since covid began for New York Comic-Con 2021. This wasn’t our first time to the convention—we attended NYCC 2019 and had tickets booked already for 2020’s event that was later cancelled.
We initially had tickets for the whole family, but as the event neared we decided that we didn’t feel comfortable taking our younger son, who’s not yet of age for a vaccine, and ended up taking a couple of my teen’s friends. Though his friends were coming, he still wanted to do a duo costume with me. After some deliberation, we both had the idea at the exact same time(!) that the iconic duo we should dress up as had to be Jay and Silent Bob.
My attempt at making a judgemental Jay face while Silent Bob shows me he’s mastered the mirror selfie
I was away on a girls trip for the week (more about that later!) leading up to the event, so my teen decided with his dad what panels he and I were attending, and didn’t realize we were seeing the world premiere of the new Chucky TV show (which was amazing!!) and Adam Savage, nor did I realize the sort of royalty that the former MythBusters host is in the Comic-Con circuit. Unlike my husband and son, I’m not invested in any of the specific fandoms represented at the Cons, I’m more of a nerd for Art, Creators, and Costuming.
In August, I resurrected this old blog with intentions of getting back in the groove of frequent posting. It struck me that my youngest would soon be in a threes program at a local preschool for three and a half hours, three days a week. I could now expect to have ten and a half uninterrupted hours a week to position myself toward some long-term goals and create new habits that weren’t accessible with a lack of childcare.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy to add more to my plate. There’s a lot of hoops to get through to maximize time when you’re time-blind and enterprising. I did some research into planners for folks with ADHD minds and found a planner that I thought would suit me best. I got geared up and started working with it right before my oldest son’s first week of school.
The last time I started a post was 360 days ago, on “COVID-19 Pandemic, Day 154.” My friend had just died.
It was covid related, but not covid. He wasn’t rushed to the hospital with shortness of breath, no invasive intubation, no taking his last breaths through a machine, surrounded by healthcare workers made unrecognizable by PPE.